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South Carolina discovers real life giant as possible kick blocking specialist

Columbia, SC- The South Carolina Gamecocks have found an 8’6 athlete from the Island of Diego Garcia and plan to offer him a scholarship as a kick blocking specialist. 38 year old Roomba Grande stands 8’6 and was discovered while playing volleyball on the Island a source said.

Grande can dunk a basketball without jumping and one report says his leaping ability for someone his height is unheard of and is reported to be near the twenty foot mark. One Special Team Analyst said with his size and leaping ability he would expect Roomba to block some 75% of all field goals for the Gamecocks once he gets his timing down.”Teams will have to figure out a way to kick away from him or not kick at all” the analyst added. Grande’s weight is estimated to be 600 pounds, the plan would be for him to drop around 30 pounds to get to his playing weight of 570 pounds by next year if he does sign with the Gamecocks. He would have four years of eligibility. Roomba’s younger brother Jim is already 6’8 and is only seven years old.

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